Do You Get Halloween Blues?

I dressed up as Kiki and my dog as Gigi last year for Halloween!

Hello Friend! Welcome back! Thank you for joining me today!

So, my mother hates Halloween. She’s told me that it is because something bad always ends up happening around this time of year and that she never feels like it goes away or lets up. She never likes to participate in Halloween decorating and doesn’t enjoy the trick-or-treaters ringing the doorbell throughout Halloween night. I always found it strange because my sister and I loved Halloween when we were children and I always looked forward to dressing up in fun costumes. But by around grade 6, I do remember that was the year I almost didn’t have a costume because my mom nearly forgot the holiday completely. When we finally went to the store, all of the kid's costumes were sold out save for one Cleopatra costume that I didn’t want but had no other choice to wear. Since then, doing anything related to Halloween with her was difficult and I had to seek out costumes and events on my own.

The Pumpkin carving contest from last year

So what happened here? She turned a correlation into causation in her mind and blamed the holiday for the tough or bad events that happened during that time. The holiday likely had nothing to do with it, the timing was just wrong. She never told me the bad events, but they left a sour enough taste in her mouth that she wrote off Halloween entirely. I don’t know about you, but a lifetime is a long time to tell a holiday to flip off. I also feel that in some ways it takes more energy to avoid and ignore than it does to enjoy and embrace it. My mother also didn’t realize that by turning her back on Halloween, she was passing along her own issues with the holiday to me. I just chose not to accept it.

I dressed up my dog in costumes every day the week leading up to Halloween! She wasn’t thrilled.

Now, I know she is not the only person who has difficulties with specific holidays. For a lot of people, Thanksgiving or Christmas is particularly challenging. Every family has its own dynamic and all families are unique. Coming together for the “traditional” family holidays can bring up a lot of charged emotions and in that case, I would say there is a reason to have anxieties with those holidays. But also keep in mind that every occasion is what you make of it. I prefer to think of any given holiday as a wonderful excuse to celebrate something and the holiday is a theme suggestion. Some thoroughly enjoy following traditional activities, but if that isn’t your vibe, then create your own memories and your own traditions that speak to your heart in the best way. You deserve to spend your holiday in a way that makes you happy and gives you wonderful memories.

I made a witchy lolita outfit because I felt like it and it worked perfect for Halloween!

Sometimes you can even take those traditions on the road. It can be fun to explore how different cultures celebrate their own holidays. You may find some new activities or traditions to fold into your own personal traditions. The U.S. doesn’t celebrate carnival very much, but I happened to be in Spain for a job when their carnival festival happened. It was like Halloween in February! I may never get the U.S. to participate in carnival the same way that Europe does, but now I remember that time of year more easily and celebrate in my own way with treats and mask decorations! You can choose to visit a place like Hawaii at Christmas (I hear its cheaper since everyone else is trying to travel home to their families) and create some tropical holiday memories to spice up your usual traditions.

There were even singing groups in costume at Carneval!

The takeaway from all of this is that, even if there have been some very unhappy times in your past around specific events, it doesn’t have to condemn all future holidays for you. You can make the choice to do something different that makes you happier. You don’t have to condemn yourself to be trapped in a bad memory. Make happier memories that you will cherish every season.

Happy Halloween! May your candy bowls always be full!

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